Time for a Suze Orman Smackdown

It's a good thing this weekly report is not tied to an actual job--I might have been in trouble for last week's report being a week late!

Last week, Artscape was fun but exhausting--I found myself not really having much time or energy after being on my feet all day. Then, I needed Monday to recuperate and the rest of this week has gone by in a blur--and here it is Friday again.

From time to time, I thought about what I wanted to share in this week's blog, and before I knew it, when I sat down and started this the other day, I found two weeks' worth of reflections to share. I'm framing this week's report with a lens of gratitude. I mentioned in my last post that I had some tough moments in the initial adjustment of having changed my entire life. Last week, I made the decision to focus as much as I could on enjoying this time--and one of the easiest ways to do that is to remember how much I have to be grateful for. There are some obvious ones--my family, my health, my friends, especially Kathryn, who's given me a home, so that I don't have to live in "a refrigerator box," as my Dad likes to tease. This week, a lot of my former colleagues at the Alliance reached out to say hello, many friends are checking in on me, whether it be by phone, sending a note, text, or Facebook message. Seemingly everyone I run into here in DC, good friends and acquaintances alike say, "We're so glad you're here!"

It's amazing.

Of course, it got me thinking about the road that led me to this point--another good way to boost oneself up when you're feeling uncertain. I thought about how I started my internship at the White House in September of 1997, and my intentions and hopes for that experience. I wanted the classroom credit--I remember feeling very restless in my junior year, so it was a good time to rack up credits doing a full-time internship. I applied at the White House for three reasons:

1. On the campus tour of AU, the tour guide said people interned at the White House. I decided then and there I would do that while I was in college.
2. I had volunteered at the White House during my Freshman year and figured I could get in pretty easily.
3. I wanted to work on a campaign and I figured then-VP Al Gore would run for President--this would be perfect timing for my first job out of college.

There I was in Mrs. Gore's office, answering mail, when one day my supervisor asked me if I'd like to go "out to the Residence" to help with a project. Did I ever! I had no idea what I'd be doing, but I thought it would be fun--and a good excuse to get out of the office. I will never forget how excited I was that day--I called my Mom and told her that I got to work in the Vice President's garage all day! I worked with another intern or volunteer, peeling the "Made in China" stickers off party supplies from Oriental Trading. It was entirely ridiculous and I loved every minute of it. Kristen, who supervised volunteers for Philip, was impressed by my attitude and introduced me to Philip. I had no idea in that moment that these people would become such an important part of my life, but they are. I continued working at the Residence from time to time, helping out at events, decorating at Christmas, you name it. Later, Philip would recruit me to help out wherever the Gores ended up--the transition office, the book office, their home, and then wherever Philip went, I would also show up and help him get organized. When I left Washington three years ago, Philip helped pack up my apartment and threw a farewell party at his house. And he took every opportunity to try to convince me to come back--back in December, he said "just quit your job and move down here." So, when I called him in April to tell him I'd finally decided to take his advice, he said:

"You can come here every day. You know if you're here, I'll find lots of things for you to do."
And so he has. Since returning from Artscape, I've been pitching in around the office, re-organizing files, drafting proposals, and whatever else needs doing. It's great to have the routine, and at least once a day, Philip, Gretchen (Philip's assistant and my friend) and I "pow-wow" to figure out what needs to be done. The whole situation is completely ideal for me at the moment, and I could not be more grateful. Here's a photo of Philip and Gretchen at Artscape last weekend:

Australia On Sale...
I am my mother's daughter, I find it so hard to resist a good sale. My friend Scott mentioned in an e-mail that some friends were visiting in Australia. I really, really, really want to go to Australia. I took a quick look at Orbitz--how much could a ticket be for a trip to Australia in August? DC is pretty quiet, I don't have a job, I could just go. Discovering that the tickets are only $800 round trip, I became slightly obsessed with the crazy idea of going to Australia next month. Quickly, I convinced myself that I should just pack up and go. Why not?

Right. I don't have a job. Isn't this what credit cards are for? I mentioned this idea to Philip and he looked at me as though I were crazy, tsk tsk'd and reminded me that there would actually be plenty of work for me in preparation for some events coming up in September. This gave me something to think about...and then I gave myself a Suze Orman Smackdown and decided Australia would have to wait just a little longer.

Uh, hello? I'm single, I don't know what I'm doing.
OK, on the man front, here is the deal--I'm single. Over the years, many people have asked me why. The reason is, I don't know what I'm doing. Somewhere along the way, everyone else got some lesson on how to find a great guy and I missed it. Give me just about any other problem (except math) and I can figure it out, come up with a plan, and get to work. If I don't know how, I can say so or learn.

I'm at a loss on this whole relationship thing. Truly. I know there are things that people do, but none of them seem to be quite right, and to be perfectly honest, the whole idea of "putting myself out there" in the traditional sense of going to bars, or even the modern sense of going online, really gives me the heebie jeebies.

When I figure out what to do, I'll let you know.