The Center of the Universe is a Hot Mess

There are so many people who dream of living here in the Center of the Universe. Our city represents the hopes and dreams of millions--past, present and future. Have you ever wondered why New Yorkers appear so grizzled, so cynical? It's because living in the Center of the Universe is hard. Not one single thing about life here comes easy or is convenient, unless you are independently wealthy. This blog does not apply to you.

When you arrive here, shortly after you recover from the trauma that is finding a place to live here and moving, the thrill wears off and you have a moment when the inconvenience of this city hits hard. What you come to learn after living here for a while is that we are a people of extremes--for every moment we experience deep and abiding love for this city and life here there are some moments...days...weeks...when you just hate it. It's a universal experience, I'm learning...and the past few days have shaped up to be some of those days when I'm just aggravated by city life. The feeling is starting to pass (as it always does), and this blog is a blatant exercise in catharsis.

The Top Ten Sources of Aggravation:
10. Proximity of mileage is meaningless. My friends live less than 2 miles away, it takes at least 30 minutes to get to their house. This is the beginning of a long list of destinations less than 2 miles from here that require great effort to arrive at (my gym, decent grocery store, Target, movie theater, Zipcar, Starbucks...). It's also impossible to arrive anywhere precisely on time. One always arrives super-early or 5-15 minutes late.
9. Just getting out of my apartment is a project. Four flights of stairs (up and down) to take out the trash, get the mail, bring in groceries, and certain people dear to me will never see this place because climbing the stairs is not possible.
8. Old, rent stabilized buildings like mine run out of hot water on cold, rainy mornings when all you want is a hot shower.
7. Old, rent stabilized buildings like mine don't have much insulation between walls or floors. This means floor shaking, boom-boom music and smelly smoke from the wanna-be DJ downstairs, revivals from the church next door at random hours, and more awareness than anyone ever needs about the sex life of the people on the other side of the wall.
6. No dishwasher.
5. Down the stairs and down the street to the laundromat. Back up the street and up the stairs with towels that never quite dry in the dryers.
4. My apartment is not big enough to entertain more than 6 people comfortably, nor store all of my belongings. And it's bigger than most people have in this town!
3. Going to visit my family was easier when I lived 200 miles away and had to drive to the airport and get on a plane. Now, it's a three block walk to the Subway, 20 minutes to the train station, two trains and 2.5 hours later...hauling bags...
2. UPS, FedEx, and the Post Office have all agreed that it's not safe to leave packages in the vestibule of my apartment building. To receive a delivery, I must stay home until the delivery arrives or else rent a car and drive to almost-Queens to retrieve it from the shipping center. And home delivery of the New York Times? Forget it.
1. On a cold, rainy night when the wind is blowing, I've bought two bags of groceries at Trader Joe's and arrive home wet and cold...and so are my groceries because I don't have a car. And if I did have a car, there are no parking spots close to my apartment when I get home--so this would have happened anyway.

In typical fashion, this aggravation began to pass as I neared the end of this list. My optimistic outlook has returned. For every point above, I can think of a positive counterpoint...for now.