Day 2: Sometimes I Forget Myself

Thinking about what to write about today's segment of this 21 day journey, the main thing that popped into my head was that I played hooky from work today. That is to say that I was completely bored--the kind of boredom that is better described as restlessness. Were there things I needed to get done? Sure. Do I have a never-empty-by-my-own-design to-do list? Absolutely. But all I wanted to do was be outside on this glorious summer day.

So I finally gave myself permission to just do that. I packed up my stuff, made a stop at the ATM (so I could check something off the to do list) and made my way to Northside Social for some soft serve, an Aranciata and reading on the patio. Then I came home, took a 20 minute nap, had a very productive conference call and went to yoga.

I managed to have a much quieter mind during today's practice, which I was grateful for because the instructor, Jodi, always gives a challenging practice. I really like her style, though she almost always kicks my butt, even in the one hour on-the-go class like today. There was this one core sequence that was just beyond--and having been through this once before, I've been giving myself a little break. Whereas my default might be to push myself as far as I can go every time, now I know that if I burn out my core today, it will only make the two classes I need to take tomorrow that much harder and make it painful to laugh on my upcoming beach weekend.

You see, sometimes I forget myself. I know that I'm at my most productive when I have a lot going on; I am mostly a creature of extremes. I need to either have just a little too much to do or to do absolutely nothing. So today, when I had a reasonable amount to get done I was stymied. It's not a very balanced approach to life, and I'm working on that. When you spend a lot of time working on self-awareness, meditate each day, and being single, it's easy to miss the whispers like this reminder I'm realizing as I type. Sometimes, I forget myself. And sometimes it's no big deal--like today, what I needed was a little downtime and eventually I figured that out and made it happen. And then there are other times, when forgetting myself can result in a longer and potentially painful detour.

I was also about to apologize for this rambling philosophical self-revelation...but I won't. This is just as much a part of the journey as the tight hips and tired body.